Suppose that in the past, a couple accidentally had sex cheaply and went their separate ways after. Not able to recognise each other, they later formed a relationship to investigate each other for the possibility of getting married. Then, something happened and they began to recognise each other and how they had fallen cheaply into the accidental sex in time past. Now, do you think this relationship should continue?
Well, in my view, none of the partners has any justification over what had happened. Both of them are guilty of decay morals.
In Africa though, only a woman seems to be guilty of fornication and adultery. But both genders stand condemned in God's sight, who is guilty of this and is unrepentant.
I think the state of these couples is now a sword of two edges. The Trust in the relationship is destroyed already. If they could have it with me so easily, they could have it with anyone else too. But should they leave each other for that? Not necessarily yes. If they do, they shouldn't hope to find security for their emotions in whatever relationship they form later.
The African man would want to browbeat the woman into accept that she was the guilty one. But it doesn't make him better than the woman. Or he may want to change the woman. That is the most annoying thing of it all. The only person you can change is you and not another person. If the woman is a whore, she probably was since her adolescence.
If the marriage is yet to be performed, there probably is still time. Putting a drastic end to the relationship might not be the best option because you don't know what you are going to find in another. There is probably something obscured you saw in each other that brought you together this two times. It might be so rare, you might not be able to see it in any other relationship you would get.
Realise that more than forty percent of relationship problems are never solved when they can be lived with. Many that are seen as happy couples simply hang on and don't blame. They know couples relationship to be one of the most important needs of people described in this world. And yet, it the possession most likely to be taken for granted. Negativity feeds on itself and those who look for it in their spouse are unhappy.
So, rather than quit so quickly, the best thing to be done is to make a map of your relationship territory. Use good judgement instead of passion drive and seek to understand what you are into. Let your partner see you working on yourself rather than seeking to change them. Take responsibility even when you were not to blame directly about what had happened. In this way, your relationship could still survive with your humour fully restored. Trust could again be rebuilt into the relationship.
But if your relationship map reveals one woeful navigation barrier after another, you are not shackled beyond movement. A kiss doesn't blot out a serious flaw any more than the hope of changing the personality of your partner after marriage can. You need to talk things over and if quit is the decision, leave each other without stripping yourselves of your self esteem. You may need to decide before the vows are taken or you get yourself locked in a turning wheel of tribulations without the consolation of tears for the rest of your life.
